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feelin good!!   
10:23pm 04/07/2007
mood: bouncy
I have been eating smaller meals, and trying really hard to eat 4-5 serv of veg, and 2-3 of fruit every day. I'm trying not to eat as much at night, and i am trying to pre-plan my food a bit so that i dont stand in front of the fridge and look for the fastest thing..

But the thing i am happiest about it the fact that i went running tonight. After that blading accident last summer, I havent up until today, been able to run without feeling really sore afterward. I finally feel like i am capable of losing the wieght i have put on since that accident... running is a triumph for me! (even though i wont do it that often cuz i have a knee problem too.. but i CAN if i want to... ;)

I am living on my own again, so i should be able to control what i eat, and what i purchase. My only enemy is me here.. i need to start thinking about how good eating right feels, and how much better about myself i feel when i am taking care of my body. I want to lose this weight (20lbs) in the next three months... its a respectable goal, but realistic. After that, i will just try to improve my shape.. tone up and get lean.. not so much lose alot of fat..

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someone.. hit me with motivation   
03:56pm 23/06/2007
  so.. i am just hangin out in the 180s.. have been here for a while.. and to be honest, its where i was comfy in high school. My body just kinda sits here naturally.

And while i am not ecstatic about my body at this weight (i have large limbs) i am not totally unhappy, because i have never been than much thinner than this. (before i had a blading accident last year, i was in the low 170s.. that was nice) I am comfortable here.. not really happy though.

But how do i motivate myself.. the only time i was ever really successful in losing a large amount was when i have gained so much that i was disgusted with myself. So i lost it all, and then 10. Ideally, i would like to lose about 25 lbs..

Man.. i just need to stop making excuses.. and just DO it. I am going to work out now. First steps right?

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Good day   
08:50pm 26/02/2007
  I am feeling pretty good.. even though i have had an upset system all day.. ( i think its cleansing.. )

Anyway.. i got lots of fruits and veggies into me today:
Breakfast was post select raisin and date cereal.
Snack was apricots
Lunch was a cup of roasted red pepper soup, a cadbury thin, and 12 small pcs of veggie sushi.
For snack i had baby carrots with asiago cheese dip
and for Dinner, I had a wrap with spinach, light havarti, and my turkey chilli (turkey, tomatoes, lentils, onions, peppers)
I drank lots of water too.

My boyfriend was talking to me last night, i guess hoping to help motivate me. He thinks will be very sexy as i size 8.. i agree. i think it is probably as small as i will get... I have a pretty big frame. (this isnt an excuse. I have a "large" frame according to my wrist and elbow measurements.)

Anyway.. i think that i will be able to lose 20 lbs in the 3 months i have until this wedding.. which means i will look fantastic! ;) When i get my dress from the shop, I am going to take a before pic, and then take an after pic at the time of the wedding, so i can see how much better it fits.

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Thought for Food   
02:34pm 24/02/2007
mood: contemplative
When it comes to weight-loss supplements, Dr. Pescatore tends not to recommend them. Why? “Because people need to learn to lose weight by managing the foods they eat. Magic bullets at this point in time do not exist, and if the healthier foods are not in your diet to the utter elimination of the unhealthy ones."

Wow.. when i first read that statement, i thought it seemed extreme, but when i actually think about it, it sounds more true. Perhaps, like alcohol and cigarettes, it is not possible to partake of your addiction in a social setting. But, then again.. shouldn't we be able to control ourselves? Or does the brain simply work beyond our concious control.

Do we have to cut out bad food entirely in order to stop emotionally eating?

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Recipe from Rachel Ray   
11:20am 01/01/2007
mood: hungry
I am really excited to make this sometme this week!!

Buffalo Chicken Chili

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil (EVOO)
2 tablespoons butter
2 pounds all-white meat ground chicken breast
1 large carrot, peeled and finely chopped
1 large onion, chopped
3 ribs celery, finely chopped
5 large cloves garlic, chopped
1 tablespoon smoked paprika (you can substitute with chipotles or chipotle chili powder)
1 bay leaf
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 cups chicken stock
1/4-1/2 cup hot sauce, depending on how hot you like it
1 15-ounce can tomato sauce (if you have a big can of tomatoes, don't go to the store to get the sauce, it's fine. Just use what you have)
1 15-ounce can crushed tomatoes
1 7-ounce bag yellow corn chips
1 7-ounce bag blue corn chips
3/4 pound blue cheese, crumbled, recommended type Maytag Blue
1/2 cup flat-leaf parsley leaves, chopped (a couple of handfuls)
preparationPreheat oven to 375°F or broiler to medium

Place a large pot over medium-high heat, add 1 turn of the pan of EVOO, about 1 tablespoon, and the butter. Once the butter has melted and the pot is hot, add the ground chicken. Brown it, using the back of a wooden spoon to break it up in to small pieces, about 5-6 minutes. Add the carrot, onion, celery, garlic, paprika, bay leaf and some salt and pepper. Cook, stirring frequently, for about 3-4 minutes. Add the chicken stock and scrape up any brown bits on the bottom of the pot. Add the hot sauce, tomato sauce and crushed tomatoes, and bring up to a bubble. Simmer for 8-10 minutes to let the flavors come together.

While the chili is simmering, spread the yellow and blue corn chips out on a cookie sheet. Top with the crumbled blue cheese and transfer to the oven to melt the cheese, about 4-5 minutes. If using the broiler, 2-3 minutes should do the trick. Remove from the oven and sprinkle with the chopped parsley.

Top each serving of buffalo chicken chili with a few blue cheese-topped corn chips.

Yields 4 servings

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Going well!   
04:38pm 28/12/2006
  Today is going very well. I am sticking to core as best i can. I think that this is really in line with everything that i have read about small changes.
I got a laptop for Xmas, so i am keeping my own private journal there about the goals and changes i want to make in my life. My weight/health is my number one goal at the moment. But i wont forget about this journal!

If you can find it, pick up O magazine this month. There are several really good articles about food, habits, and your brain. It really helped me see the big picture as to "disctructive" behaviour, and understand why its so easy to slip up. The more you know, the better right?

And, if anyone wants to try this, Its something i threw together:

can of black beans
cup of frozen corn
1/2 C of reduced sodium V8
tbsp chilli flakes
tsp cayenne pepper
tbsp of spice mix (i used greek, but you could use italian)
mix all together and simmer. Serve over brown rice.
Grate some low-fat cheese for added flavour!

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Keep coming back.   
02:39pm 27/12/2006
mood: determined
Well.. i am sorry if i am depressing anyone with my bad sense of stick-to-it-iveness.. but I am trying once again to get my stuff together and do this up right.

My Mom came through in a big way for me this Xmas. I got a Points slider and an AP slider. I got the big points bible, and the dining out guide. I got a food scale, and a rice cooker/steamer. And i got 5 new work out videos. Some cardio, some pilates.
What do I have left? I want to get an agenda so i can track and plan wherever i am.
My boyfriend is going on nights soon, so it will just be me and my dog in the evenings. This will make it much easier to avoid eating at night, and eating bad foods.

My new goals?
I want to lose 6-10 lbs per month, every month. My end goal is to be 150-145 lbs. My monthly goals would allow that to happen sometime this summer. At minimum, I should be able to lose atleast 30 lbs before my best friend's wedding. If i really push, I could be pretty much at my goal by then.

I am seriously considering going on the Core plan this time. Core foods are nutritious, and i think that teaching myself to eat mainly wholesome foods is the key to sticking with it.

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Full and Sleepy   
03:13pm 07/12/2006
  So.. we had our appreciation Lunch at work. I am quite full!!
I have no idea what is in what i ate.. so I am just not counting today. But I will log it. I am making a salad for dinner, so that will be pretty light to balance it out.

Raisin bread, ham and light moz sandwhich

goat cheese & walnut phyllo packet with cranberry
sir loin steak w/ mashed potatoes & grilled veggies
a weee bit of raspberry ice
3 glasses of white wine

Planned dinner:
Spinach salad w/ shrimp

I have to go to another lunch at the same place next week.. yum!

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03:31pm 06/12/2006
2 slices raisin toast: 3
2 thin slices of ff ham: 1
1 oz of ff mozerella: 2
total: 6

Oj: 6 *i am tempted not to include this, as i am only drinking it for my throat.. but hey.. its calories right?)
rice cakes: 5
total: 11

spinach, tomato, peppers: 0
almonds: 3
shrimp: 1
total: 4

apple: 1
carrots: 0
total: 1

stuffed sole: 3
sauteed (in broth) spinach: 0
couscous: 4
total: 7

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09:21am 06/12/2006
  So, I was productive last night, and went grocery shopping and worked on xmas presents. So i now have lots of healthy food, and my knitting will keep me from snacking at night.

I would just like to take a second and praise raisin bread. I love it. It makes yummy sandwhiches, great grilled cheese.. and its just 3 pts for two slices. so yeah!

My throat is not an infection, just a cold.. I am sucking back the water, tea and throat lozenges (no sugar ones) so i should kick this soon.

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11:52am 05/12/2006
  So.. my new dog ate my internet.. chewed right through my network card.. so now i am without for most of the time.

I have been pretty good the last few days.. I HAVE to buy groceries tonight..
My weigh in this weekend was 192! Yeah! so i was just 3 lbs off in the end from my goal, and i really wasnt good last month.

So.. this month will be better.. my co-worker, who is on herbal magic, is really starting to look svelt, and i am jealous. So i need to get my butt in gear.

Sadly, I am sick again... feels like a throat infection now. I dont know WHERE i am picking up these germs, but it is really starting to piss me off.

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Points: 29   
12:15pm 01/12/2006
mood: happy
A peak at the scale told me that i am actually back under 195, so i am not going to go off Wendi..

2 rice krispy squares: 4
yogourt: 1
total: 5

hot chocolate: 3

Urban Wrap (lettuce, sprouts, cucumber, tomato = 0; wheat wrap = 3; tempeh = 4; goat cheese = 3): 10
yam fries: 4
total: 14

APs: (40 light)= 2

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07:04pm 30/11/2006
  So.. things have been going so so for me.. I havent really gone over board, but i havent really been eating to lose either. Its been like this for a while now.. and there are a number of days when i eat well until i get home.. snacking after dark is a bit of a problem lately because my bf works afternoons, and has dinner at about 10pm.. i often want to snack with him.

But that really needs to stop. I need will power.

I have decided that i will be getting an agenda for the newyear. not just for dieting.. i really need to organize my life. take notes, set reminders.. and also track my food. I think it will help me a lot.

So.. my goals will have to be adjusted a little to account for the fact that i didnt really lose much this month. I will try to be really good this weekend, maybe even put the WENDI thing aside for tomorrow and sat, just to try and drop any bloat, and then weigh in on Sunday. It was my goal date afterall.. If i am at 195 i will be happy enough. It will just mean no deviating in December. If i have to shuffle my daily totals a little, I will (for the holidays).. but i will try and maintain the pattern as best i can.

I CAN do this.. now i just have to DO it. You know what i mean?

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Points: 24   
02:44pm 30/11/2006
  I will be following the WENDI plan as a regular thing for a while, to see if i can get back in the groove.. it will give me specific targets, which i think i need, but also give me high and low days, and use more than just basic point levels, which i think are too low for me.

2 C berries:2
vanilla ff yogourt: 2
total: 4
Water: 24 oz

Special K Bar: 2
Water: 12 oz

roastd chicken: 6
Soup: 3
Salad: 0
roll: 2
total: 11
Water: 8oz

protien bar: 4
water: 36 oz

Fish fillet: 3
Veggies: 0
light Cheese: 2
total: 5

total: 26

APs: 15 mins mod

(Weigh in)

12:57pm 29/11/2006
Special K Bar: 2
Coffee: 0
Water: 40oz

No Snack (not hungry)

Peas: 0
Soup: 2
Oranges: 1

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10:25am 28/11/2006
  I got a dog!! He is fantastic, and i am very happy and excited!

And now, onto the real show:

Bagel: 4
Light cheese: 2
Coffee: 0
Water: 28 oz
total: 6

Almonds: 4
Water: 24 oz

8 small Nigri: 3
12 small maki: 4
2 manderine oranges: 1
Lunch total: 8

tall Gingerbread nonfat latte:4
Cranberry Bliss Bar: 9
snack total: 13
(crap.. it was good.. but that blew my dinner points!)

APs: (45 light)

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So excited i might pee!   
04:51pm 27/11/2006
  Just joking.

I am going to meet my (hopefully) new dog tonight!!
Call it fate, but after being at home with my mom and my old dog, i realllly want one.. and then, i get the email that a friend of a friend is giving them away! Yeah!

I will walk more, and generally be happier. Pet therapy is the best therapy. This is going to be reallly good for me.

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My Mom Motivates Me.   
10:48am 27/11/2006
  So, spent the weekend with my mom, and just like last time, i am ready to get back in this and get dirty!

I had a good weekend pointwise. I have used up about 10 of my WPA already.. but that is ok. Last time i didnt eat them, and it backfired.

today i had a big breakfast:
eggwhite and veggie omlet: 2
wrap: 3
cheese: 2
Breakfast total: 7
water with breakfast: 16 oz

yogourt: 2
Cafe mocha: 1
snack total: 3
Water: 48 oz

Butternut Squash Soup (1 cup): 2
Kappa Maki (12 sm.): 4 **
2 mandarin oranges: 1
Lunch total: 7
water: 24 oz

Special K bar: 2
Water: 12 oz

Myoflex Lite Bar: 3
Water: 12 oz

Ground Lean Turkey: 3
wrap: 3
Light Cheese: 2
veggies: 0
Salsa: 0
Baked Doritos: 4
Dinner total: 11

APS: (20 + 55 + 30 Mod.) 7 + (30 light) 1 = 8APs
total: 33/ 32

Weekly Points Allowance: 11/35 used

** I discovered this weekend that i was overestimating the points in my sushi.

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Just can't get my rhythm back   
09:42pm 20/11/2006
  Why am i having such a hard time with this again? I cant seem to recommit after screwing up. I dont understand it.

Do i want to be fat? NO. Do I want to get in shape for my best friends wedding? YES. So why is it that all i want to do is eat lately? Like seriously.. i want to snack for hours.. something got tripped in my head and i cant turn it off. It does actually worry me a little, because it obviously means that something is wrong and i am not coping with it. But i dont really know what that is... Am i just in a funk because its been so grey here? (two or three weeks of grey weather.. its depressing..)

Its also really hard at this time of year.. so much chocolate and rich food. I want to enjoy the holidays with my friends. It means that i really need to commit to an exercise routine that will let me eat a bit more. But i dont have access to a gym, and its getting too cold to walk at lunch. (the constant wetness isnt making that appealing either)

Grr.. couldnt it just be cold but sunny? I think i would feel a whole lot better then!

But i will keep on trying. I will keep trying to start my day right, and plugging through. I just have to get my head in the right place. I have to stop eating just to eat. Stop nibbling on chocolate.. its a clear sign that i need more feel good hormones.

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I almost forgot!!   
09:27pm 15/11/2006
  Today was my one month diet anniversary. I took my measurements, and i lost about an inch everywhere!  

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